The Importance of Affirming your Children

The Importance of Affirming your Children

The importance of AFFIRMING YOU CHILD

 

 

In my travels as a child, moving from here to there, being reminded of any of my strengths, greatness, and or potential came slim to none in my home. or should I say, in the Homes I’ve lived in b/c there were many. I cannot think of any moment in my life when a close family member more specifically a woman who sat me down and spoke life into ME unveiling and unleashing the fresh springs inside………  with words that would have been encouraging and inspiring; ultimately motivating me to do better, to pursue anything I desired and enjoyed or to focus and invest into one specific thing…. Nope, I don’t recall those talks.   And to be quite honest by the time I did share company with women who began to open my mind too much more; I already had a child as a child. And because of the lack of affirmations validation encouragement and push then topped with young motherhood and growing up fast, to this day, I have a very hard time accepting compliments and believing in my self-worth. Rather the compliments being about my appearance or my work I get very uncomfortable and laugh off the conversation. This revelation about my life made me realize something I believe every Mother Big Sister Auntie Godmother grandmother and caregiver should know… and that is……There is something that dies and OR grows in our girls when they go unnoticed and overlooked. Girls who are left to figure out and search for their worth in the world and in the people around them tend to become people pleasers and never strive for their own way of life and living life. I know this firsthand.

***FOR EXAMPLE***

 

 I noticed my daughter; Mareah didn’t believe in her beautiful artwork as being ‘Artwork’. She just summed it up as being bored and not knowing what she was doing other than “just drawing”. She has only had Art lessons during school sessions; however, she has always been very good with colors, blending, abstract designs, and bubble letters. One day, during her visit back home to Baltimore during summer break she sent me a picture that she drew of her name. She was bored and wanted to share it with me and that she did. Now when I got the image text, I opened it and my mouth dropped. I damn near screamed through the phone “MAREEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHH”  I was surprised at how neat and profound her lines, shapes, and letters came out to be. I mean she did say she didn’t know what she was doing, right? But she draws all the time, always has, since she was 5/6 years old. So, I asked her “Do you consider yourself, to be an artist? She said, No. I asked her to do you think you’re a creator? She said, No. LIGHTBULB!!!!!! She was saying no because she doesn’t believe in her own work even though my mouth is on the floor, I’m screaming through the phone and I’m praising it. Guess what she does? She just laughs it off, SOUNDS FAMILIAR? This was my story playing back to me through my child in my face……. And immediately Conviction fell upon my spirit, and I had to address what wasn’t addressed for me in such a crucial time

 I almost never felt confident in anything I did as a young girl or anything I wanted to do. because I always felt i wasn’t good enough or worthy of even dreaming bigger, I also always felt I wasn’t going to be successful at what I wanted to do. I was more concerned with others’ opinions, requests of me and critiques of what I was doing.  This stemmed from my internal garden. A garden we all have inside of us . A garden that grows confidence, self-worth, and all the other flowers that make up a beautiful display of well-rounded educated, emotionally intelligent women aka flowers. Unlike this ideal description, my garden was bare……  it was bare and vulnerable where it should have been bright vibrant, and undeniably steadfastly beautiful and protected……. This is the story of many young girls, who grew up through and in adversity every day that then grows up to be working women, mothers, and wives in our community with a lack of gardening skills. Skills to tend to their own garden let alone another’s garden. And if we think about it it's Simply b/c some of us didn’t hear and or needed to hear; 

 *GREAT JOB YOU PERFORMED WELL AT YOUR RECITAL, I THINK YOU’RE A DANCER!

OR

*

*I SEE YOU LOVE TO READ AND DRAW MAYBE BEING AN ARTHUR OR ARTIST IS YOUR CALLING OR YOU COOK VERY WELL at such a young age, and I see you love trying new foods, AM I LOOKING AT A TRAVELING CHEF?

OR

*YOU HAVE A BIG HEART AND LOVE TO PROBLEM SOLVE, SERVING THE PEOPLE MAY BE WHERE YOU’RE HEADED!!!!!!

I know this sounds small and maybe simple and they are, but these words just aren’t compliments they are seeds that all young girls can take back to their rooms and turn into affirmations, with your help. words that uplift her desires and validate her dreams and efforts are detrimental to the way she looks at herself and her future and the rooms she fills. could you imagine if these words came FROM THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!!!! Could that have made a difference? If yes, understand we can’t go back and change the past nor should we hold grudges but we can now make sure that every  girl and or woman who needs a little water on her seed gets it because we know what it feel like not to be……l I hope you enjoyed this reading and you're able to take away a piece to plant somewhere else.

Rd bye

w/love

 

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